Fearless…a paranormal memoir

by M.D.Sacca

It all started on the fourth of July in 1954, or within a few days of that. I’d like to believe it was the fourth, a day of celebration. Of course it never was a day of celebration. It was a day to keep secret, deny and try to forget.

I don’t know if it was because of her pride, her vanity or her faith that she maintained her silence. I only know that secrets have a way of eating you alive. They fester and percolate. They invade your dreams. They grow into monsters and wait in the shadows to be set free. And as each year passes your secret ripens. It grows branches until in the end it has deep roots and compounded consequences. Even now that her secret has been revealed she’s having a hard time owning it, as if a crowd will show up on her doorstep, drag her into the street and stone her to death.

I have done my best to convince her it means nothing to me, the secret of my conception, of my paternity. She is my mother after all. I could never stop loving her. But I now realize it was never about me. It was about her. She was protecting herself…at my expense. 

It was about what people might think. What I might think. How God would punish her for her sin. Ultra conservatism after all is fraught with misery. Fear of God will make people do crazy things, keep dirty little secrets, fret,  lay awake at night and worry about their condemnation. She was determined to take the secret to her grave. It was as if she never said it out loud it never happened.

But she didn’t count on the fact she had a tenacious son. One who was going to keep digging. And as determined as she was to take her secret to the grave I was equally determined to reveal it. Then in February of 2023 with the help of a nationally recognized organization known as the DNAngels I discovered in 24 hours what I did not know for 67 years. My father was Jimmy Sacca.

I was raised in a cult. It’s always gnawing on my consciousness. Even as an adult there is no being completely free of it. Many of the options for my future were taken off the table. As a child I was being spoon fed nonsense that couldn’t possibly be true…like mankind is only 6,000 years old and there’s no such thing as evolution. I was encouraged to defy the medical establishment and ignore the scientific community. If I questioned the validity of ‘Heaven’ or ‘Hell’, the ‘resurrection’ or any number of scientifically challenging positions I was told to simply ‘have faith’.

I have always been a skeptic. I believe what I have seen with my own two eyes. I wouldn’t have written this book but it was a story I had to tell. I speak from a unique perspective. I can testify to the fact there is life after death, another dimension, a heavenly realm and most probably other earthlike planets capable of sustaining life. You see on July 28, 2013 I died.

It was a sudden cardiac arrest, the widow maker. For days I layed in the ICU hovering between life and death, crossing between this dimension and the next. And I can tell you this…it’s not what you think. I came back. It wasn’t my time. I should say I was sent back. And I am here to tell my story.

‘Fearless’ is a memoir that grapples with issues of life and death, faith and science, ultra-conservatism, organized religion and it’s unintended consequences. It’s about learning to fit into a world I was conditioned to shun. It’s about family relationships, sexual abuse, betrayal, love and intuition. It’s about secrets and lies and my fundamental right to know my father, who he was and what he was like. It’s a compelling look at ‘the other side’, dreams, the paranormal and other mysteries of the universe. It’s Catcher in the Rye meets The Celestine Prophecy.